THE DIVA IS BACK

I've been gone a long time, but found myself in the process. I have surrounded myself with postive people and in turn and positive myself. I will not compromise myself for anyone, I will not keep from being who I am because someone doesn't approve.

I have a wonderful husband and great friends who keep me focused on the wonderful things in life. Next door, a couple moved in, who I believe was sent by the universe. I belive in "THE SECRET" and know that she was sent to me. We both agree that people come in to your life for a reason. If I was still depressed and thinking negatively, then I believe that would have been brought into my life, but because of my positive thouhts and I have found her. I won't write her name, or call her out, but she knows who she is.

Not only is she the nicest, most genuine, kindest person I know, but she is a DIVA too. She belives that a true DIVA wants others to feel as beautiful as she does, she wants others to embrace their confidence and love themselves for who they are.

So what brought this sudden post, well...... after getting Balboa's blog back on track, I received an email from the DIVA next door that she was in the paper. A reporter that she knows asked how she felt regarding the her experiences in the dancing and modeling industry. I won't show the link since her name is in it, but let me tell you....... SHE IS A DIVA. She belives that real beauty can't be bought, or applied, or sucked out. Real beauty comes from within, self-confidence only adds to your beauty, who YOU are makes you beautiful.

So, basically I've been back for a while, but just now just to the blogging. I know I had some depressing posts a while back and some of you were concerned. All I can say is that I am happy and healthy, and look forward to posting about many more happy and joyous issues in the future.

lack of posts

I haven't posted in so long, just so much going on. I will tell you all about it very soon.

what should I do & Coffee is my drug

So, I finally being open and honest with myself, but not ready for others. When the topic comes up, do I say it there in front of everyone and see the pity in their eyes or do I just walk away from the conversation. I'm not sure what to do at that point. Tomorrow I go to work at the school where, they're going to want to know if I'm okay, since last time I was there I was not myself. I have to just tell them (all women around my age, two of them with kids). I just don't want the questions or stories of family members who went through this. I don't want them saying that I have to deal with it either to me or behind my back, not that I have any control over that. We have monthly reading lunches, I went to all of them with one exception because of a school activity, but I don't want to go this time. I just don't feel up to it, two are pregnant, one has a 9 month old and the other just gave birth to her second. It's just so hard, I love the restaurant, I love being part of the group, but I don't think I can handle it anymore.



I've learned that lots of wet kisses from this guy cures it all..........

Despite all these emotions and dissapointments, I'm still a DIVA,

I refuse to let my DIVAHOOD be taken away!!!

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So, onto my drug of choice.... COFFEE


I just love my coffee, though my greatest loves are Tony and Balboa, but anyway back to COFFEE. Tony and I have always had arguments about coffee, I like it in brewed in a pot and light, Tony likes it in a perculator and strong. Well..... Tony solved that problem, he bought the Keurig coffee maker, we've had it for about two months and I think this would be my favorite appliance in the house.

No matter what size button you press the coffee comes out perfect, Tony and I can each have our coffee of choice and drink it at the same time. You select your size and all that coffee goodness just poor into your cup. If you go on Keruig.com you can order 4 packs and save $ and get free shipping. You can also order a pack of five to try the coffe so you're not stuck with a pack of 24 that you hate.




my favorites are.............................

Green Mountain - Half Calf, perfect for the afternoon.



Green Mountain - Breakfast blend, light and fresh



Timothy's - decaf, oooooh so good


Green Mountain - Wild Mountain Blueberry, OMG smells and tastes like fresh blueberries

Gloria Jeans - cappuccino, you can only make the small size, but very GOOD

Gloria Jeans - white organic tea, great, small but great!

not me anymore

Sorry, I haven't posted in a while, I am so tired. I don't know what to do? I put on this happy pretend face all day and by the time I get home I am so tired, all I want to do is crawl under the covers and sleep.

I received so many wonderful comments regarding my post on baby issues, I know there is more to me than just wanting a baby. Its just so hard right now, everywhere I look there are babies and pregnant woman.

I don't want to go back to that dark place where all I did was complain and cry, but I feel myself slipping there more and more every day. I cry in the morning, I cry in the shower, I cry on the way to work, I cry on the way home. I fully of jealousy and "why not me". I hate feeling like that, but I can't stop it. I'm scared that I'm going to lose the important things in my life, but I can't stop.

It was somewhat comforting writing this out and letting it go, but I can't see through the tears anymore.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Signature Style

So, as a DIVAS we need to identify our signature style..... Is it your perfume, the bracelets you wear, your style of shirts, your high heels, your hair, your eye makeup, ........

Well, my signature style is my curly black hair, my "Java Blue" handbag, my wardrobe based on shades of brown.

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What do you LOVE about yourself that does not fit the "ideal" image of beauty?

I personally LOVE my nose. I was often made fun of in my youth for a big nose. Now I adore my nose with freckles, and in the summer the freckles become more dominant. I DO APPLY LOTS OF SUNSCREEN, but those freckles shine and I love it. They are a part of me, a part of what makes me beautiful!!!!!

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Beauty is NOT stiletto high heels, pounds of foundation and concealer, fake body parts, size zero clothes,

Beauty IS confidence, power, independence, self-esteem, laughter. BEAUTY IS DIVAHOOD.

Dirty Cupcakes and Stupid People

Thank you again for all your wonderful and supportive comments. DWB community is better than any therapy session.

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So following Rachelle's post on sex, I decided to write about the very dirty adult cupcakes I make. They're not made out of molds, but rather the candies that I put on them that make them dirty. They suddenly popped in my when I was asked to bring a dirty dessert to a toy party. They're too graphic to put on the blog, so if you would like pictures and instructions on how to make them email me at balboas_mommy at yahoo dot com

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Seriously, why do people complain about the way things are, but when asked to make a change they suddenly have excuses? When you make the changes, they complain that you didn't involve them. ----- (This is in regards to the Board of Directors for my condo)

If you're going to complain - THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

If you're not going to get involved, THEN DON'T CRITICIZE THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS!

If you're not going to make a two-year commitment to the Board and get involved, THEN GET THE F*** OFF THE BOARD!

hmmmm, I feel better now.

WHY????? & update

UPDATE: After reading all the wonderful comments that were left on the previous post, I am now crying tears of relief, joy, and happiness. So what that my wallet was stolen..... it sucks, yeah. But staff at the school were so upset that they gave apologies and tried to find the wallet, some students gave their apologies and one boy even gave me a hug. I am glad that I work at a school that is filled with such caring staff and students.

I will not let one bad apple destroy my happiness.

I WILL NOT LET THIS INCIDENT DESTROY MY DIVAHOOD. This has taught me a lesson, lock up your wallet every second of the day. Now I'm gonna play with Balboa, nothing cheers me up better than my grunting and snorting little boy.

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My wallet was STOLEN at work by one of the students!!!!!!!

I tried so hard to keep it together, but now I'm just done. I am sitting here sobbing uncontrollably. I have to pay $30 for a new drivers lisense, $30 THAT I DON'T HAVE!!!! I had to cancel all my credit cards and wait for new ones to come in the mail. WHY????????? What else is going to happen. WHY ME????? I occasionally bake cakes and even baked cupcakes for Valentines Day for those kids and they steal my wallet.

I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling down, because its so hard to get out of the funk. I just can't stop crying........................

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